I have a minute!

     Look at me!  I'm back!  It's 10:30 and I should be doing other productive things but Brent is in the backyard with friends watching football around the fire pit and the kids are asleep.  So, we just got back from a mountain vacation with my parents to Sapphire Valley and it was AMAZING!  I ate so many sweets.  I truly acted as if my entire mission for the trip was to find pastries.  I always complain that there's no small bakery in Lexington or even Columbia that I can visit.  Yes, we have cupcake shops and Krispy Kreme and oh yes, I am a fan but I'm looking for a non-chain bakery that smells of yeast and sugar when you open the door.  Ones that sell bow ties and bear claws and apple fritters.  There's Tiffany's over on Two Notch but if you know of others, please share.  Wow, I seriously sound like I have a problem and I do have a small one.
     Anyway, I would love to share pictures but they have yet to be loaded to my laptop and I really don't want to take the time to do it now.  My laptop is basically out of space so I now have to work through my external hard drive and it's just not too fun.  So, I decided to open a recent folder and share a few from it.  I immediately found myself smiling and loving these next few pictures.  They were taken in September while we were at Fripp Island.  They are so genuine.  A true moment captured through the lens.  It's one of my favorite times; Mornings that Brent is off from work, first thing, but hopefully not too early.  Usually, Brent goes to get Asher.  Seriously, you should hear the disappointment from him when it's me.  I go and get Sloan.  We then meet back up in bed to cuddle and chat.  

Test Shot

(No flash looks best but often leads to blurred shots.  If you know how I can change this, please share.)

Attempt #1: Ha!

Attempt #2:  HAHAHAHAHA!

Attempt #3:  Well, not frame worthy but I SO love it. 

     Yep, that's my family.  My little family of 4.  I am often amazed at the love that I'm capable of feeling for these guys.  I'll admit, the first 2, maybe even 3 months of Sloan's life I wanted to fast forward.  I was having emotional issues, Sloan had colic, I was sure I would never leave the house again, Brent went out of town for 2 weeks, and my perfect Asher schedule had been rocked.  Well, Sloan just turned 6 months, Asher is almost 3 and they could not be more fun. 

     Asher tells the best stories that always begin with, "One day...," he's so, so smart, he has the best sense of humor, and he says the best blessings.  One night after dinner at the mountains, a man stopped me as we were walking out of a restaurant and said, "So, is the whole family a Gamecock fan or just the little guy?"  Ha!  He had heard Asher thank God for the Gamecocks in his blessing.  Well, the man ended up being from Chapin so we all had a good laugh.  Asher's blessings are different every time.  You never know what he's thankful for: The light, a lamp, a fan, obviously whoever is sitting around the table and he names each one, food, the day.  Just to name a few.

     Sloan is basically pulling up and pretty much crawling anywhere she wants to go.  She has a bow or ClippityCUTE (these are made by a dear friend of mine) in her hair ALL THE TIME.  Yes, they're precious but the sweet girl needs them to keep the hair out of her face!  She's got her 2 bottom teeth, lets you know what she wants, thinks her brother is her personal jester, and has a smile that will make you melt. 

     This afternoon, I took a blanket out in the front yard and sat with Sloan while Asher rolled through the grass, rode his tricycle, pretended to mow, and just showed me how fast he could run.  Tears come to my eyes when I think of how special these guys are to me.  I know I mentioned "blessed" in my last post.  Well, it is so true.  Now, I wish I could just put time in Slow Motion.

Wowzers!

     Ok, it has been MONTHS since I've made time to sit and do anything with the blog.  You guys have been neglected but it's all good.  I'm back.  Maybe not for long but this is a start.  Obviously, we are now a family of 4 and I could not love my kids more.  As you can see, they're pretty fond of each other as well.   

     Today, Asher even pretty much suggested that I have another baby sister for him.  Well, don't know about that, but love that he even liked the idea.  He also told me that when he gets older he's going to have a baby in his belly.  Well, I explained that his wife would have the baby in her belly and that he would be the daddy.  He then just restated that he would have a baby in his belly when he grew up so I moved on to the next conversation.  He has been the best big brother.  When she was younger, he would jump at the opportunity to lay out my supplies for a diaper change.  He now jumps to be the one to make her laugh when she's beginning to get upset. 

     My little guy will be 3 in December and Sloan will be 6 months on Monday.  They fill my days.  Period.  I would love to be a stay at home mom forever.  I'm not sure Brent agrees but I would love to pick them up from school every day if I could.  I mean, at what point will your children not need you?  I'm 31 and I certainly don't know what I'd do without my mom.  I thank God for her often.  Well, I don't have long.  Just wanted to do a little updating.  We're happy.  We're healthy.  We're busy.  We're Blessed.

 

Today, I am thousands of miles away from the love of my life, but the realization of her role in my world could not be clearer.  She is among so many things, the mother of my children, and today, I want her to know what that means to me.

When we chose to bring our children into this world, we became parents.  For better or for worse, we were it.  They were “stuck” with us. From the moment their little hearts began to push life through their bodies, they depended on us.  They depended on their mother.  For nine months, during their development, Mom sacrificed a comfortable life for aches, pains, heartburn, physical alteration, mental and emotional strain, and a limited diet.  Day after day providing life to our children; first from inside their fluid home, and into the countless feeding required for another 9 plus months of life.  I have to pause just to let this sink in a little.  My son and daughter, I would do anything for, but never have I HAD to do anything for them to sustain their lives.  My wife, their mother, is solely responsible for keeping them alive for 18 months straight.  Protecting them, feeding them, keeping them warm and giving them the love only a mother can give to nourish the heart and soul of a child.  I try to imaging the satisfaction that it caries but I cannot get past the colossal weight of responsibility that overshadows everything else.  I know she loves it, and is happy to do it, but it takes God given strength on so many levels to be a mother.

Now that we have two children, our world has changed.  Kristen continues to sacrifice day in and day out as I am at work.  She has very little time if any for herself as her daily and weekly list never seems to end.  Every moment of her life from the time she wakes to the time I get home (late) she is giving to our children.  I try to help when I get home and am able to do what I can, but She is still on as Mom.  I know as Sloan gets older she will grant some more time to Kristen for non-mom roles, but right now, Kristen is on duty 24-7.  I know this post could apply to most, well, a lot of moms, but there is more than just fulfilling the duties of mom I recognize in Kristen.  It is her willingness to be the mom she is, even when I cannot be the dad that I need to be. 

I know my wife loves me, and my children adore me, (Sloan has smiled at me a coupe of times) but I often do not make life easier for Kristen, and I realize this.  I work an hour from home so I leave most mornings before my family awakes at 6:45ish.  I own a business and am a working member who has many roles throughout the day.  I hold the integrity of my company very high so my days are very busy as I am very happily involved in day-to-day operations.  Phone calls and texts are sparse throughout the day and it is not often if ever I leave the office before 6:45 or 7:00 putting me home at 8:00 at night.  By this time Asher is either ready for bed, or ready for a bath to get ready for the night.  That means Kristen is without me for 13-14 hours a day.  I do get Fridays off which is very nice, but 14 hours is a long day to be a mom without help. (Not including the time I work from home on “days off”)

Along with my passion for my work, I try to stay healthy and fit.  This takes time.  More time away from my family and wife.  I am usually out of gas after work, so the weekend tends to be the times I squeeze in activity.

And then there my nature, my desire, my propensity to get involved with things that ultimately take me away from my family.  Some fall into the category of fitness such as the Mud Run, 5k’s, Adventure races, volleyball tournaments, mountain biking.  Some fall into the category of work like weekend presentations, conferences, half week and week long trainings, after hour meetings, events, sponsorships, etc.  Some are just plain amazing like my trip to Utah to play one on one volleyball in the desert, the 2 weeks at the inaugural Warrior games last year, my visits to Florida, training camps in San Diego, and now another 2 weeks at the Warrior Games this year.

Combine all of this with my nature to “do” and be active and what you get is a man who is not always the best help at home.  With a small glimpse into my world, it becomes very clear how much the mother of my children sacrifice for me. 

I do recognize that much of what I do has a positive impact on my family and wife.  I want financial security, a long healthy life, and world experience for them and that does not come without some sacrifice.  But the point of my rambling today is to give credit where it is due.  Kristen, my wife, in all of her selflessness gives me the ability to be the man I am.  She provides for our family what I do not, cannot, or have not to ensure that we are a family, and an amazing one at that.  She allows me the opportunity to do these things, sometimes against her will, and for that, and for so many other reasons, my wife is an amazing mother, and an amazing wife. 

So today, as I am thousands of miles away from my family, I want Kristen to know, I want everyone who reads my words to know, I am thankful for the mother she is, the wife she has become, and the family that she has created.  I Love the mother of my children and thank God for her.

I am sorry this mother’s day will not be what she would wish for it to be and that I can not be with her face to face, but she has not left my side from the day I met her.

Happy Mother’s Day My Love.

So, we pull into the hospital, contractions every 4 minutes, 8:30ish and after about 30 minutes the contractions began to get more intense...really really intense.  Kristen fought through and did so well.  I couldn't be more proud of her. Kristen was a champ as they continued to pick up in intensity and as the time grew closer we called in the big guns. 

The Dr. came in toting his bag of magic and began to describe the epidural process.  He was awesome and made an instant connection with Kristen and I, right before he plunged a 2 inch needle into the area adjacent to her spinal chord.  "Here comes the bee sting."  He stated. 

"That's nothing compared to contractions"  Kristen replied. (mind you she endured 3 contractions while he was prepared to insert the epidural.)

Now it was time to check and see how far along Kristen was...Oh my, ready to go and not even able to feel the effects of the meds!!  The Dr. came in and said let nature take its course and give her some time, so we waited.  The epidural had set in and "Contractions" was once again just a word and not a declaration of unparalleled pain. Time passed and Kristen's mom was here and the nurses asked if Kristen was ready to push.  Kristen tried and with amazing success Sloan's entry into the world began.  A few very painful (yes painful, epidural took away the contractions...but the rest was for her to feel) a few pushes later our daughter was born.

 

In that instant, our family of three became 4.  What an amazing feeling.  I was now the proud father of a daughter, and a son.  She was amazing.  8 lbs. 5 oz. and 21 inches long.  She was awake, loud, and curious about the world around her.  Having a second child was different, but no less amazing and special.  I fell in love with my wife and my life all over again. 

We never would have guessed she would have dark hair...and decided to style it like daddy.  She was beautiful.  Troy and Papa were very patient and it was all worth the wait!

Wow.  What a experience.  Now it is time to soak it all in and spend some amazing time with Sloan and Kristen in the Hospital.

A Lesson in Patience

     So, it's Thursday.  On Monday, I'll be 40 weeks and my due date will have arrived.  Every morning I wake up and think, make the bed, put on real clothes, keep the house clean, put on makeup and do hair, because today just may be the day!!  Every night I go to bed, I actually hope that nothing happens.  I would feel so bad calling on a friend to come over in the middle of the night to stay with Asher as Brent and I are off for the hospital.  Also, I just find the idea of having contractions during the beauty of the day much more appealing.    

     Bags are packed and on the dining room table, a small list is compiled of last minute items to grab such as cell chargers, pillows, Brent's razor, etc.  The baby carrier is in Brent's car ready to bring baby Sloan home.  Asher's embroidered, "Dr. Asher" scrubs are out so that he can wear them when he sees his baby sister for the first time.  Cameras are charged and cleared ready to be filled with photos and video never to be forgotten.  Monday, I had my 39 week appointment and was told by the Dr., that things were happening and he didn't think I'd make it another week.  Tuesday, I dusted the house, washed clothes, and had an old friend visit with a precious outfit for Sloan.  Wednesday, we had Toddler time at the library, lunch out with friends for a dear friend's birthday, I vacuumed, and ended the night at Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey.  This is a class being offered by our church and while Brent makes the money, I pay the bills, and thought it would be beneficial.  Although, last night was about Insurance and I'm just lost.  (Ok, sorry for my ADD moment.)  Today, I started the day thinking, "Oh, what a beautiful day to have a baby!"  I spent the morning giving Asher my quality time, on the floor, playing with his toys.  I then pulled him around the neighborhood in his wagon before ending at the playground where a neighbor stopped by and shared parts of his train with Asher.  It was then time to head home for lunch.  Well, while walking, we passed a little girl and her babysitter having lunch on a little table in her driveway.  While passing by, I spotted CHEETOS!  Ok, yes, they've always been good but for some reason today, I knew I had to have some.  Fortunately, I'm quite a food hoarder and I knew there were some in the top of our pantry, I was just hoping they had been tightly sealed because it had been a while.    So, we headed home, spread a blanket out on our front porch, and had a picnic.  Although Asher normally drinks water, I let him indulge in a Capri Sun Roaring Water because he had kept his pull up dry all day!  Asher, not being a fan of peanut butter, had a ham and cheese sandwich, grapes, and cheetos.  I had an all natural peanut butter (Smuckers is the best) with strawberry fig preserves (made by my grandmother) sandwich, grapes, cheetos, and milk?  Yes, milk.  For some reason, it just went perfectly.  Wow, this blog is really showing my ADD side but basically, I'm saying I've stayed active and I'm ready to welcome little Sloan whenever she's ready.

Wednesday at the library

Today on the playground

     I'm also saying that I've realized there are some things we just need to enjoy and not take for granted. If Sloan had come Tuesday, it would be amazing, and I'd have my daughter, but think of the little things that would not have occurred.  God, has a plan and God has things happen in His time.  Asher has been the most amazing little boy today.  So sweet, making good choices, and letting me love on him.  This morning, he came across a small insect near the windowsill of our kitchen.  Our conversation went like this (I actually wrote it down)...Asher: "Mom, mom, look, bug."  "It's not moving."  Me: "Oh, well, it might be dead?"  Asher: "Put batteries in it!"  
     I guess I am continually amazed by the things that we take out of God's control.  A while ago the doctor mentioned that once I got to 39 weeks we'd start talking about an induction.  Well, sure enough, on Monday the doctor asked if I'd like to come in the next morning and either schedule the induction or actually go ahead and have it.  I wasn't paying much attention because I knew Brent and I agreed that wasn't our choice.  Would it be convenient to have one?  Absolutely.  Would it be exciting?  Of course!  Would I be selecting Sloan's birthday and taking timing out of God's control?  Unfortunately.  I understand there are times that they are needed and if I get to 41 weeks or more, that may be our choice. My mom actually went a week over with me and I was 8 lbs. 6 oz. but she ended up going into labor naturally without the help of drugs.  Oh, and believe me, Sloan's size is surely on my mind and every day that goes by I'm thinking..."there's one more ounce!"  I'm just working on letting go.  Every night during our prayers with Asher, Brent and I both mention patience and God's timing.  So, that's just something that's been on my mind.  Please keep us in your prayers and I'll surely keep you updated!  For now, I'm going to enjoy giving Asher my undivided attention.

It's ALMOST that time.....(Continued it seems)

 
 Well, well, well, 39 weeks tomorrow!  Little Ms. Sloan continues to stay cozy and comfy where she is.  I'm currently sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch while Brent mows and Asher naps.  Don't worry, I first asked if he minded if I updated the blog before getting lazy in the shade while he does manual labor, so I'm not a horrible wife.  Actually, internally, I want to get in the house and clean and straighten but I kept running through so many thoughts that I just had to share first.  After sharing, yes, I will be inside making the house look great because I don't know when things are going to happen and I want to come home to a clean house with my new little bundle.
     I know things are definitely changing and becoming tighter, slower, warmer, and achier, but still no stretch marks.  They could still be so much worse than they are.  I could have 6 or 8 in there and I think about those moms often.  Don't worry, I have things pretty easy it seems, and honestly, people who see me can't believe I'm as far along as I am.  To me, I just can't imagine being any larger than I already am.  Today at church I was telling Brent how warm my hands were.  I seem to ALWAYS have cold hands.  Not now obviously, and I even mentioned how they could now be used as heating pads.  Well, Brent jumped at this and had me warm his lower back during the service.  : )  I needed his help or assistance to stand and when it came time to sit I pretty much let myself collapse back into my seat.  All of this has taught me how much I take for granted when I'm not 30 lbs. heavier.  I can't wait to sleep more than 2 hours without a bathroom break, run to the phone without worrying about running to the bathroom first, get the massive U pillow out of my bed and make room for my hubby (we both realized that we slept better if he sleeps in the downstairs guest bedroom and he's been there for the past week or so), lay on my belly, lose the back pain, put away the Zantac and Tums, and just be quick on my feet again.  Now, let me mention, these things are so minor when you think of the AMAZING thing that God has created our bodies to do.  Through me, He is creating new life, a new soul, a person who will impact the world.  And, he can do all of this in just 9 months, 6 of which aren't even uncomfortable for the most part.  So, are these things slightly bothersome? Yes.  Am I still amazed by God's work and natural plan?  Always.  And yes, I would do it all over in a heartbeat.
     My current fear and prayer request is the delivery.  Knowing that it will come any day, at any time, at any place and I would love to have another all natural delivery.  I pray for Sloan to be healthy.  I'm not even worried about the lack of sleep this time because I know what's coming.  How will I find a way to love her and be as attentive as I was to Asher when he was born and could have my undivided attention?  These are the things on my mind.
     I'm actually looking forward to the hospital stay.  If you know me, you know I love food.  I love the "room service" way of doing things.  With Asher, I'd have laptop in my lap before dialing down to the kitchen.  On my laptop, I had typed all the random goodness that I wanted delivered so that I wouldn't leave anything out.  Actually, Brent documented this with a video.  : )

I actually attempted to share, but it doesn't look like it's going to work.  I may try again later.

     Just today, I told Brent how I look at it as a little vacation that I'm looking forward to.  Time away to stare, hold, and nurse my little baby girl without a care to washing clothes, cleaning house, or having to go anywhere.  Asher will be in the care of my mom, his Nah Nah, and there's no better place for him.  So, as this new life changing event approaches, I'm still savoring my little family of 3.  We made a homemade pizza after church and that'll probably be the last one made without little Sloan sitting in a carrier on the island watching our actions.  I have the perfect routine and schedule with Asher that works like a dream, and I'm about to start from scratch.  Basically, God is good.  God is good in all things.  God is good now, God is good through changes, and God will guide us through this new adventure and life changing event.  Thank God!  : )

The very soon to be...Big Brother

It's ALMOST that time!!!

So, it's March 29...I'm due April 11.  Asher would have been born on March 21, the day I turned 37 weeks.  I'm now 38 weeks and counting.  Yep, she's gaining one half to one ounce EVERY DAY!  I think of how crazy this time is.  The life of my little family of 3 is going to change drastically and I have to admit, thinking that I can say "the kids" while referring to my own family rocks my little world and makes me feel old.  It's so hard to fathom that I'm going to love little Sloan with the same passion and intensity that I love Asher.  So much of my time now is focused on buying, preparing, and planning.  Honestly, it's quite frightening knowing that having Asher is already like having my heart so vulnerable but now it will be doubly so.  I can't wait to see if she looks like Asher?  Will she have the same beautiful beach blonde hair?  Will she be under 8 lbs.?  Yikes- I'm already thinking not.  This baby girl can stretch so far across my abdomen that I feel she's got to be long, I was.  I was also 8 lbs. 6 oz.  Let's just say, I can't wait to hold her in my arms and have my child content in my arms again.  Asher will cuddle, just not for long.  : ) 

On to my little nesting project from yesterday... Asher has a little fabric square that we keep in the car and call his "lulla bug."  I'm not sure he's necessarily attached but it's just habit that it stays in the car and goes into his lap for car rides.  He leaves it there and I believe it gives an element of coziness along with texture.  Asher's was from Bunnies by the Bay.   I have yet to find one that I liked for Sloan.  So, after having a sewing machine for 2 1/2 years or so, I learned to thread it.  I first had 2 dear friends assist while I made a pillowcase dress.  I got so excited I went out and bought fabric for 2 more dresses.  I also bought materials to make Sloan her own "lulla bug."  Yesterday, I actually sat down and pulled out the machine and gave project 2 a try.  I'm quite pleased....  

My 2 fabrics and ribbon choices



I pulled out the scrap booking tools, which probably haven't been used since college, to cut the fabric.  I saw this done in a tutorial.

I'm sharing all of this because, yes, I am quite impressed with myself.  I'm much more of a "sayer" than a "doer."  And this, I actually did!  Look out etsy!

So, Sloan now has her own little lap buddy for car trips!