Sunday, May 8, 2011

Today, I am thousands of miles away from the love of my life, but the realization of her role in my world could not be clearer.  She is among so many things, the mother of my children, and today, I want her to know what that means to me.

When we chose to bring our children into this world, we became parents.  For better or for worse, we were it.  They were “stuck” with us. From the moment their little hearts began to push life through their bodies, they depended on us.  They depended on their mother.  For nine months, during their development, Mom sacrificed a comfortable life for aches, pains, heartburn, physical alteration, mental and emotional strain, and a limited diet.  Day after day providing life to our children; first from inside their fluid home, and into the countless feeding required for another 9 plus months of life.  I have to pause just to let this sink in a little.  My son and daughter, I would do anything for, but never have I HAD to do anything for them to sustain their lives.  My wife, their mother, is solely responsible for keeping them alive for 18 months straight.  Protecting them, feeding them, keeping them warm and giving them the love only a mother can give to nourish the heart and soul of a child.  I try to imaging the satisfaction that it caries but I cannot get past the colossal weight of responsibility that overshadows everything else.  I know she loves it, and is happy to do it, but it takes God given strength on so many levels to be a mother.

Now that we have two children, our world has changed.  Kristen continues to sacrifice day in and day out as I am at work.  She has very little time if any for herself as her daily and weekly list never seems to end.  Every moment of her life from the time she wakes to the time I get home (late) she is giving to our children.  I try to help when I get home and am able to do what I can, but She is still on as Mom.  I know as Sloan gets older she will grant some more time to Kristen for non-mom roles, but right now, Kristen is on duty 24-7.  I know this post could apply to most, well, a lot of moms, but there is more than just fulfilling the duties of mom I recognize in Kristen.  It is her willingness to be the mom she is, even when I cannot be the dad that I need to be. 
I know my wife loves me, and my children adore me, (Sloan has smiled at me a coupe of times) but I often do not make life easier for Kristen, and I realize this.  I work an hour from home so I leave most mornings before my family awakes at 6:45ish.  I own a business and am a working member who has many roles throughout the day.  I hold the integrity of my company very high so my days are very busy as I am very happily involved in day-to-day operations.  Phone calls and texts are sparse throughout the day and it is not often if ever I leave the office before 6:45 or 7:00 putting me home at 8:00 at night.  By this time Asher is either ready for bed, or ready for a bath to get ready for the night.  That means Kristen is without me for 13-14 hours a day.  I do get Fridays off which is very nice, but 14 hours is a long day to be a mom without help. (Not including the time I work from home on “days off”)

Along with my passion for my work, I try to stay healthy and fit.  This takes time.  More time away from my family and wife.  I am usually out of gas after work, so the weekend tends to be the times I squeeze in activity.

And then there my nature, my desire, my propensity to get involved with things that ultimately take me away from my family.  Some fall into the category of fitness such as the Mud Run, 5k’s, Adventure races, volleyball tournaments, mountain biking.  Some fall into the category of work like weekend presentations, conferences, half week and week long trainings, after hour meetings, events, sponsorships, etc.  Some are just plain amazing like my trip to Utah to play one on one volleyball in the desert, the 2 weeks at the inaugural Warrior games last year, my visits to Florida, training camps in San Diego, and now another 2 weeks at the Warrior Games this year.

Combine all of this with my nature to “do” and be active and what you get is a man who is not always the best help at home.  With a small glimpse into my world, it becomes very clear how much the mother of my children sacrifice for me. 

I do recognize that much of what I do has a positive impact on my family and wife.  I want financial security, a long healthy life, and world experience for them and that does not come without some sacrifice.  But the point of my rambling today is to give credit where it is due.  Kristen, my wife, in all of her selflessness gives me the ability to be the man I am.  She provides for our family what I do not, cannot, or have not to ensure that we are a family, and an amazing one at that.  She allows me the opportunity to do these things, sometimes against her will, and for that, and for so many other reasons, my wife is an amazing mother, and an amazing wife. 

So today, as I am thousands of miles away from my family, I want Kristen to know, I want everyone who reads my words to know, I am thankful for the mother she is, the wife she has become, and the family that she has created.  I Love the mother of my children and thank God for her.
I am sorry this mother’s day will not be what she would wish for it to be and that I can not be with her face to face, but she has not left my side from the day I met her.
Happy Mother’s Day My Love.